How to Build And Maintain A Secure Attachment With Your Child by Stephanie, Pediatric Sensory Development

Developing a secure attachment with your child is key in brain development. 

A child with a secure attachment to at least one caregiver will be able to emotionally develop fulfilling relationships, maintain emotional balance, and feel more confident overall. So how do you form a secure attachment with your child? 

Creating a secure attachment with your child starts in infancy. You are the most important person to your baby, they rely on you for everything including comfort. By holding and cuddling your baby, you are reassuring them and providing them with a sense of safety. Make eye contact as you feed them, play with them, and even change their diapers. Speak to your baby in soft comforting tones, and connect with them by smiling and singing or telling stories. As the attachment grows you will be able to notice their cues and meet their needs before they have even fully registered they need something. This reduces crying, stress, and anxiety and ultimately leads to a happier baby and parent.  Toddlers who have developed at least one secure attachment, tend to be more calm. They have less tantrums, and are less likely to have severe separation anxiety. That’s right, less tantrums! It is a proven fact that a securely attached toddler and child are able to be more patient and trust others, which can overall make them and everyone around them happier. Now this does not mean they will never get upset, but there are ways to defuse an upset toddler that I will discuss in a gentle parenting blog coming up. This just means if they have a secure attachment they are capable of feeling safe and trusting others.

As infants grow into toddlers and then children, you want to maintain a secure attachment. You can do this by continuing to have one on one time with your child. Giving them your full attention and being present is truly the best way to keep the bond you have formed strong. This doesn’t mean all day everyday (that would be impossible), but a little time every day to connect is all it takes. Read a book together before bed, take 10 minutes after dinner to play with them, or even a special day out just the two of you. Whatever you choose to do, the greatest gift you can give your child is time with you!

Children who have developed secure attachments are often happier and kinder. They also tend to have better social skills, and can make friends more easily due to being able to trust more freely. This all leads to deeper, more meaningful relationships as adults.

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