Integrative Family Medicine of Iowa
  • About
    • Blog
    • Our Story
    • Patient Resources >
      • Patient Portal
      • Patient Forms
      • HIPAA Privacy Notice
      • 2025 Practice Updates
    • Locations and Hours
    • Contact Us
  • Services
    • Mental Health >
      • Ketamine Therapy
      • Alpha-Stim®
    • Family Practice >
      • Men's Health
      • Pediatrics
      • Urgent Care
    • Aesthetics
    • FemiLift
    • Health Coaching
    • NAD+ IV Therapy
    • IV Infusions
  • Our Team
    • Kara Dobelis
    • Sarah Lee
    • Dianna O'Neill
    • Danielle Fitch
    • Emma Ross
    • Kala Jurno
  • Book Appointment
  • Billing
    • Pay My Bill


8/10/2022

How to give your toddler more control at home.

0 Comments

Read Now
 
Picture
Before you stop reading because of the title... this is not really about handing off all control to your toddler. This is simply about stopping the control battle between parent and child. 

I am sure you may have heard the terms: terrible twos, three-nagers, and fournados. While these terms may be kind of funny, and accurately describe your toddler at times, the truth is that it is very hard to be a toddler. Think about it: they are just learning how to use their voice and may not be able to communicate their wants and needs. 
When it comes to regulating their emotions, they need help! A natural first reaction to not being able to communicate is to throw, hit, yell, etc. It is up to us as parents and caregivers to teach our toddlers how to regulate their emotions and how to appropriately react to frustrating situations. This starts with a regulated parent. If we effectively teach this while they are young, they will grow up in support of acknowledging their emotions, processing them, moving past the frustrating situations in life, and translating this into adult social-emotional skills. What a great way to change the world! But it will only take 18 years per child you have. 

So how do you do that? Here are my top tips for toddler behavior regulation for both parent and child.

Instead of fighting their independence, embrace it. 
Give choices instead of demands. At this stage of life, toddlers are rapidly developing and learning autonomy and independence and with this stage comes the need for control. You can reframe this as the parent by thinking about it in terms of development and how to best support their growing needs.

For example, let them choose between two outfits, two snacks, what book to read, etc. By giving them two choices, it can help to give them control while you still achieve your goal. 

Set boundaries and Stick to them
It is important to set boundaries and stick to them, but you can do this in a gentle way that will get you better results and keep everyone happier. Toddlers also need consistency which means sticking to the boundary every time at home, the park, or wherever you’re setting the boundary
I suggest giving 2-3 warnings before any transition, this helps to prepare the child and lessens the potential resistance. If they still do not want to move on to the next thing, it is important to hold the boundary but you can shift the control to them. 
For example, let’s say you are trying to get your child to come to the dinner table. You have given them 2-3 warnings ahead of time and the minute it is time to come to the table, they push back and give resistance (or a full blown meltdown). 

You can say something like: 

“I can see you are upset, and don’t want to stop playing. 
It is fun to play and I can see you are having a great time.
​We can play some more after dinner time. 

Would you like to walk to the dinner table or should I carry you? You choose.” 

When you shift the control, they are more likely to respond positively. 
I can’t guarantee they will eat their dinner but we’ll address that another day on the blog.

Use a visual schedule
A visual schedule can greatly help keep your toddler on track throughout the day and give them the confidence to get through their day with little intervention from you. 
Post the schedule low where they can see it, and explain to them how it works. Then give them lots of praise when they use it. Keep the schedule simple and flexible. I intentionally include outside play that is interchangeable with inside activities, as well as independent play, potty times, and even tv time. If they know what is coming next, they will feel more content and be more able to wait for the appropriate time for that activity. 

These techniques take practice and lots of patience, but if utilized consistently, you will see changes in the behavior! 

Still feeling overwhelmed? Need some help implementing these things at home? I can help! Please reach out to me at [email protected] to schedule a home consultation. 
​


Stephanie

“A safe space to learn makes brain development possible.”
​With that in mind, Stephanie teaches parents and caregivers how to help kids play with a purpose and to create an environment that promotes brain development and the attachment that comes with it.

About stephanie
Picture

Share

0 Comments


Your comment will be posted after it is approved.


Leave a Reply.

Blog Info

    Archives

    June 2025
    May 2025
    March 2025
    February 2025
    January 2025
    August 2024
    July 2024
    June 2024
    May 2024
    April 2024
    March 2024
    February 2024
    January 2024
    November 2023
    October 2023
    August 2023
    June 2023
    May 2023
    March 2023
    February 2023
    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    November 2021
    October 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020

    Categories

    All
    ADHD
    Aesthetics
    Aging
    Alpha Stim
    Anxiety
    Baby
    Back To School
    Baking
    Banana
    Bipolar Disorder
    Birth To Three
    Brain Development
    Brain Health
    Breakfast
    Child Attachment
    Children
    Chocolate
    Chocolate Spread
    Cooking
    COVID-19
    COVID Testing
    COVID Vaccine
    Depression
    Dessert
    Detox
    Diet
    Digestion
    DIY
    Eggs
    Family
    Family Rules
    Family Vacation
    Fear
    Feeding
    Food Dehydration
    Food Treats
    Garden
    Gut Health
    Health
    Health Coaching
    Healthy Choices
    Heath
    Holistic
    Holistic Medicine
    Homemade
    Homeschooling
    Hormones
    Hunger
    IFM
    IFM Caregivers
    IFM Experience
    Immune Function
    Immune System
    Individualized Care
    Infant
    Inflammation
    Informed Choice
    Insomnia
    Integrative Medicine
    Interruptions
    Intimate Health
    IV Therapy
    Kids Travel
    Kids Yoga
    Laser Treatments
    Medical Tests
    Medical Treatments
    Men
    Menopause
    Men's Health
    Mental Distress
    Mental Health
    Metabolic System
    Migraine
    Mornings
    Neurological Health
    Northgate Cafe
    Nutrition
    Pacifiers
    Pain
    Parenting
    Parent Tips
    Pediatric
    Pediatric Sensory Development
    Postpartum
    Pregnancy
    Preventative Medicine
    Primary Care
    Primary-care-provider
    Ptsdtrauma
    Quality-of-life
    Recipe
    Reduced-sugar
    Rest
    Rhubarb
    Rich-soil
    Routine
    Safety-rules
    Sauerkraut
    Services
    Skin Problems
    Sleep
    Sleep-disturbance
    Snacks
    Stories
    Stress
    Suicide
    Teething
    Testosterone
    The-brain
    Thumbsucking
    Toddler
    Vacation
    Vegetables
    Vitamin
    Vitamin-b12
    Vitamin-d
    Water-safety
    Weight-loss
    Women-in-wellness
    Womens Health
    Worry
    Yoga
    Your Body

    RSS Feed


Picture
Picture
Send us an Email
[email protected]
Picture
Give us a Call
515-218-1399
​515-217-4695 (fax)
Picture
Visit our Locations
IFM | West Des Moines 
475 S. 50th St., Suite 600
West Des Moines, IA, 50265


IFM | Ankeny
​207 NE Delaware Ave. Suite 20
Ankeny, IA 50021

Office Hours


​Monday:  9:00 a.m. - 5:00 p.m.
Tuesday :  9:00 a.m. - 5:00 p.m.
Wednesday:   9:00 a.m. - 5:00 p.m.
Thursday:   9:00 a.m. - 5:00 p.m.
Friday:  by appointment.
Sat & Sun:  
Closed


Picture
© 2025 Integrative Family Medicine of Iowa, PLLC.
​All rights reserved.
Photos from shixart1985, wuestenigel
  • About
    • Blog
    • Our Story
    • Patient Resources >
      • Patient Portal
      • Patient Forms
      • HIPAA Privacy Notice
      • 2025 Practice Updates
    • Locations and Hours
    • Contact Us
  • Services
    • Mental Health >
      • Ketamine Therapy
      • Alpha-Stim®
    • Family Practice >
      • Men's Health
      • Pediatrics
      • Urgent Care
    • Aesthetics
    • FemiLift
    • Health Coaching
    • NAD+ IV Therapy
    • IV Infusions
  • Our Team
    • Kara Dobelis
    • Sarah Lee
    • Dianna O'Neill
    • Danielle Fitch
    • Emma Ross
    • Kala Jurno
  • Book Appointment
  • Billing
    • Pay My Bill